如果把和他们的回忆给删除,剩下的会是一张白纸。
该庆幸，还是伤心呢？该庆幸因为即使没有他们，双鱼还是一样能活！
从那天起，双鱼的生活就少了和他们玩闹，快乐的日子了。
双鱼一直都觉得，他和他们的感情淡了许多。双鱼的心，从剧烈疼痛到现在已经麻木的感觉！没有了任何感觉。
双鱼发现，原来他不再那么爱他们了。双鱼明明很想和他们靠近但却又找借口来远离他们！矛盾的双鱼！
双鱼认为，他和他们始终是两个来自不同星球的人！不合拍，也是正常不过的事了！真的不合拍还是双鱼自个儿认为而已呢？！近来，双鱼到底在逃避些什么？双鱼到底在害怕些什么？现在的双鱼到底是抱以什么样的态度对待他所谓的他们啊？
双鱼有没有戴起面具？还是双鱼一直都真诚待人？
双鱼说，是因为太在乎他们了吗，才会让双鱼恨他们？双鱼和他们在一起，感觉有点小累！怎么办？
很多时候，双鱼感觉他自己被他们冷落了！双鱼感觉痛。伤。双鱼好想离开！
离开的原因是因为这里有太多双鱼和他们的回忆！离开，是最好的方法。至少双鱼不会再那么难过！
很多时候，当双鱼放弃他们时，他们有为双鱼做了许多感动双鱼的事！这叫双鱼不知如何是好！有时候，双鱼好想大声和他们说，有些东西失去了，就再也不会回来了！就好像双鱼和他们之间的感情！
双鱼说，他和他们的感情，正处于危险阶段。或许只要双鱼来一个大动作，他和他们的感情就会永远消失！双鱼说，他会紧紧捉着，如果他想要这段感情的话。要不然，双鱼就会完完全全的放弃！
现在，双鱼该如何做决定？不清楚！双鱼更害怕他自己会做错选择！双鱼可不可以不做任何的选择？！！双鱼害怕心痛的感觉但他更害怕失去的感觉！
可不可以再一次不负责任的让时间来做决定呢？可以吗？！？！
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
-WHAT is LIFE-
what is life? cant really explain it..
life,is full of misteries, full of happiness, full of sadness......
how's my life since that day huh? happy? sad? or SUCKS???
how am i going to do right now? what is my goal?? where is my motivators?
where they gone huh?
my life is empty right now! am i ? perhaps.. even attached with a lot of activities with classmates, coursemates.. but who is the one i can share, i can trust? where they gone huh? the person i can trust, i can share... where are them?
left me alone here..
life is full of realities.. without advantages, benefits, people will just leave u there.. as long as u still have the advantages that they can get from u, people will always closer and closer to u .. people like $$$.. they are blind with $$$.. no $$$ no talk.. that is what we called "LIFE" right now! stupid man! SUCKS man!!
is strive hard to follow the norms.. i try hard to follow the people.. actually i can still strictly to follow my own principles.. but i didnt.. just because want people to be happy..
once i say "NO", u can see their face.. their expression is "bu shuang", anger on their face... hey hey.. people.. WHAT ABOUT ME huh? when being rejected by people, u feel hurt.. u angry.. but but WHAT ABOUT ME? WHY I CANT DO THE SAME THING JUST LIKE YOU done to me? WHY ??????????????????????????????????????
try hard to think positively!! try hard to start the conversation with newly met people... try hard to adapt to new environment..suffering..hurt... who understand??? i CANT complain because i allow people to treat me like tat.. i allow them to hurt me.. i allow them to do so.. it is all MY FAULT! my fault! coz i am STUPID!!! stupid pepole.!!
arrhrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
life,is full of misteries, full of happiness, full of sadness......
how's my life since that day huh? happy? sad? or SUCKS???
how am i going to do right now? what is my goal?? where is my motivators?
where they gone huh?
my life is empty right now! am i ? perhaps.. even attached with a lot of activities with classmates, coursemates.. but who is the one i can share, i can trust? where they gone huh? the person i can trust, i can share... where are them?
left me alone here..
life is full of realities.. without advantages, benefits, people will just leave u there.. as long as u still have the advantages that they can get from u, people will always closer and closer to u .. people like $$$.. they are blind with $$$.. no $$$ no talk.. that is what we called "LIFE" right now! stupid man! SUCKS man!!
is strive hard to follow the norms.. i try hard to follow the people.. actually i can still strictly to follow my own principles.. but i didnt.. just because want people to be happy..
once i say "NO", u can see their face.. their expression is "bu shuang", anger on their face... hey hey.. people.. WHAT ABOUT ME huh? when being rejected by people, u feel hurt.. u angry.. but but WHAT ABOUT ME? WHY I CANT DO THE SAME THING JUST LIKE YOU done to me? WHY ??????????????????????????????????????
try hard to think positively!! try hard to start the conversation with newly met people... try hard to adapt to new environment..suffering..hurt... who understand??? i CANT complain because i allow people to treat me like tat.. i allow them to hurt me.. i allow them to do so.. it is all MY FAULT! my fault! coz i am STUPID!!! stupid pepole.!!
arrhrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
何谓再见？
再见有多少种说法呢？再好的朋友总会有说再见的一天，不是吗？
有时候会想，什么时候轮到我们俩说再见呢？而且会在怎么样的情况下说再见呢？
我们以往的回忆会不会永远的就这样被抹去？再见，真的会像小说里头说的，“再见是为了下一次笑着相逢”吗？当和你们说再见后，自己真的很希望我们下次见面的时间能快点点到来。但很多时候，再见了，就要等很久很久才真的会“再见”呐！！！一天复一天，一年复一年。等待很漫长。让人憔悴了，疲惫。人生中，总要说多少次的再见呢？他们所谓的再见又是什么意思呢？唉...
有时候会想，什么时候轮到我们俩说再见呢？而且会在怎么样的情况下说再见呢？
我们以往的回忆会不会永远的就这样被抹去？再见，真的会像小说里头说的，“再见是为了下一次笑着相逢”吗？当和你们说再见后，自己真的很希望我们下次见面的时间能快点点到来。但很多时候，再见了，就要等很久很久才真的会“再见”呐！！！一天复一天，一年复一年。等待很漫长。让人憔悴了，疲惫。人生中，总要说多少次的再见呢？他们所谓的再见又是什么意思呢？唉...
Sunday, August 3, 2008
- 醒了吗？？！－
abee, mishel, siewmun,simai, me
03/08/08,星期日的大清早就到Section 17的一间中学去参加运动会！不是我们的运动会，是NASOM，自闭症协会在某间学校举办的运动会。
这是自己人生中第一次参加这么不一样的运动会。参赛者都是来自不同地方的NASOM中心。
可否想像，我们有那么多正常的人类，然而，在另一处，却有着这么多不幸的人类。
如果不说他们是换上自闭症的小孩，或许你并不会知道。当中，有的长得高头大马，有的娇小玲珑，有的可爱。有的从外表看上去才不过是小一，小二。但，他们却已是小六的年龄了。
他们嘛，有的很好动，有的很安静。有的简直和普通的小孩一样，没有任何的差别。
其实，他们当中有几位是很有音乐，绘画天分的。有的甚至会把他们看过的卡通片里的对白，一字不漏的背出来。有很多不一样的类型。但大多数人类知道的，自闭症孩子是不说话的，不参与别人的。他们只是专注在他们感兴趣的事物而已。他们只活在他们自己的世界里。
不瞒你说，自己也有点自闭症的倾向。但，是不严重的那一种。
今早，在等待运动会开始的时候，突然之间，有些东西像似真的把自己打醒了！为什么自己还是觉得不满足？我什么都有了。为什么还是那样子，老是觉得还不够。甚至对自己的生命带有开玩笑的态度。似想想，他们这些不幸的小孩，甚至那些不幸的人类。他们和自己比较起来，谁最幸福？是自己。自己最幸福了！但为什么还得为那些琐碎的事而伤害自己呢？愚痴啊！！！
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